Rants Posts at Skatepark of Tampa

Can We Bring Out the Dirty Laundry Again?

Posted by Rob, Tuesday, June 05, 2012 4:28 PM

Lots of skate companies today are owned by skateboarders. It's no secret and it's obvious to tell which ones are and aren't if you have any clue about skateboarding. Problem is, most of those skateboarders have done grow'd up, and I think it makes for a little bit of skateboarding these days being a bit boring. I've been around it for 25 years or something now and I still love it as much as I always have of course, but something just seems to be in a creative and inovative lull lately. Let's go back to a time when skateboard companies publicly feuded and took out ads with rival company pros taking it in the butt. Yep, former pro and current SPoT Productions head judge Jason Rothmeyer has the full story of how he ended up in the mags being Hersey highwayed. Thanks Chrome Ball for another good one. Can some skateboard company owners please ungrow up a little and get back to our 20's before we reach our 50's? Thanks.

Heard You Had the Fever for the Flavor

Posted by Rob, Thursday, May 17, 2012 10:59 AM

If any of these kids grow up and turn pro and get the classic interview question, "What was your first photo in a magazine?", they're going to have to say, "Well, it was when Rob Meronek made fun of my haircut." Watch for our Bieber Fever ad in this month's mags. While I was uploading headshots for the last contest here, I couldn't help but notice the crazy pattern of swishy cuts. I wonder if the direction of the swishy matches their stance? I mean, you're going to totally wreck the swish if you got it swishing left and you're regular, right? Man, it's so hard being a kid these days.

The Feel Good Story of the Weekend

Posted by Rob, Monday, May 14, 2012 8:23 AM

If you didn't see it on the social networks regarding this post about some kids in downtown Tampa I saw yesterday getting stopped by police, here's the story:

Pretty amazing story these kids have. It's not what you expect. They're just getting stopped by police because they matched a description of some sketchy graffiti vandals. They're not getting skateboard tickets. Even better, they got stopped by police earlier when only two out of the three of them had skateboards. The cop pulled two boards out of his trunk and let the kid without a board have one. Wow. It's nice to run into some good ones every now and then. Thanks TPD.

First Blood: The Return of the Camo Cargo

Posted by Rob, Friday, May 11, 2012 1:17 PM

Back here in Innetech, we've had our laughs over the re-rise of cargo pants and even crazier, camo. Browse through the New Arrivals Page and you'll find enough gear for war with a head to toe camo kit consisting of pants, hoodies, shorts that nearly sold out the day we got them in, boards, and even headphones. I have had my rants on the camo cargos in the past, too. What seals the deal for camo cargo popularity now for me is the photo you've seen making the rounds in the news. Check this kid here who can probably kickflip and might have the word MILF in his vocabulary on the cover of Time Magazine with a boob in his mouth. Wow. I wonder if he got those pants at skateparkoftampa.com? Thanks for shopping. See you in the jungle. Now, what's the camo cargo Mayor going to do?

Skateboarding is Not for Everyone

Posted by Rob, Thursday, May 10, 2012 9:09 PM

Saw this on PetaPixel's site. So this mom takes a photo of her kid on the first day of school every day for 12 years. Can you tell when the kid started "skating?" That being in quotes because you can't really tell who skates by the feets anymore these days. Looks like a pair of Half Cabs came in at year seven and by year 10 he must have been pretty confused with wearing Fallens and being a bowl troll as evidenced by those rabbit ear laces dragging the ground like caveman knuckles. Anyway, this kid not only needs some pants, but if you look at the end, you can use the feets to make the fair judgment call that he quit skating by that time. Or started longboarding. Same difference. It's a sad pattern that I'm afraid too many kids go through. Oh well, in 10 years he'll be telling glory days stories about how he used to skate then going modern day mid-life crisis. Don't ever stop, kids. Skateboarding is the fountain of youth physically and mentally. This kid in 12th grade is already older than your dad.

A Ground Breaking, Innovative, Game Changing Product

Posted by Rob, Saturday, April 07, 2012 5:26 PM

When you don't get it, you might need one of these. Not a fan of Weezy and you popped a vein in your forehead when we let him in SPoT? Carpel tunnel from too many dislike clicks? Yep, time to get a funny bone. See, normal, fun people think stuff like a crazy rapper skateboarding is funny and good for a laugh whether they like ignorant ass hip hop or not. If you typed a two paragraph comment on a messageboard proclaiming that the sky is falling because skateboarding as we know it is so fragile that it can be shattered and ruined by something silly like a rapper skating, yep, you need a certified Rob Meronek Funny Bone. There are plenty of things that need to get the hell out of skateboarding such as 1080's that recently made their way in, but while they're here, let's just sit back and laugh at it. I would love to keep the twirling to the kooky snowboarders, but the 1080 is here and all we can do is use our funny bone on it, just like you should be doing if you're mad at rappers skateboarding. I love Baby Tom Boyle, just not the twirling. Sure, the Official Rob Meronek Funny Bone is steep at $100, but if you are in need of a funny bone, this is priceless to you.

We Will Soon

Posted by Rob, Tuesday, March 27, 2012 3:18 PM

I skimmed through this video of the "chubby Canadian" and his homies watching Tampa Pro's live webcast and one part I happened to click on had the dude saying, "I'm going to $h!it all over SPoT, I lost all respect for them." Haha, I guess he hates Weezy. Go to the 42:00 mark for that gem. I'm looking forward to your post, Mr. Watson. He's got a great site with funny, highly opinionated call outs of all kinds of madness in skateboarding. The gangster shirts post was one of my favorites. Whenever skateboarding can't laugh at itself anymore is the day we've really gone wrong. I'm glad we're not anywhere near that, well most of us anyway, even if skateboarding these days is not the same as what we grew up with. Check out youwillsoon.com. Thanks for watching, three Canadians. Maybe we'll see you in Canada for Damn Am this year. In other lurkin' of the internet in avoidance of my mountain of work I have in my face, I saw Skateboarder Magazine's edit of the Finals and it's amazing. Someone get that camera guy laid. I still have yet to get some chill and rest time. All good, though. Photos coming up soon.

A Case of the Political Mondays

Posted by Rob, Monday, January 16, 2012 6:51 AM

I'm going to start a restaurant that serves nothing but hot dogs, hamburgers, and 64oz root beer floats and call it Rob's Chinese, Jap, and Viet Cong Buffet. Then when people go, "Where the fly lice and cat meat?" I'll be like, "YOU RACIST!!!," and kick them out of my joint. Oh wait, that's good racism, right? Having preconceived notions and assumptions about the food people eat based their race? Well, I guess there's good racism and bad racism. The silly, unwritten rulebook of political correctness looks the other way in certain situations. Oh well, humans are jacked. Monday is MLK Day and all our black homies skate free that day. I'd say that's good racism. We will even prorate based on your ancestry. A quarter black? 25% off! Half-breed? Half price! I'm still waiting on that oriental holiday. And don't forget the good sexism. Girls skate free everyday at SPoT since day one. See y'all here!

Jock Nanny?

Posted by Rob, Monday, November 07, 2011 6:43 AM

Why don't city owned basketball, football, and baseball fields have a coach nanny on staff making you sign a waiver and wear a jock strap? For some reason, cities today still think pad nannies are needed for skateboarding. Apollo Beach is next up to be forward thinking enough to build a skate park, but keeping roots in gub'ment assbackwardsness and making it fenced in with waivers and pads required. Oh well, here's the preliminary design by Team Pain. Looks pretty good, you think?

It's Time for Go Skateboarding Day Again: Tuesday, June 21

Posted by Rob, Thursday, June 09, 2011 4:00 PM

We've done a lot of crap in the past to stir things up downtown for Go Skateboarding Day. After years of making our statement, I think we are finally just going to keep things low key this year. Yep, we're being well behaved grown ups. There's no way that our homie Rob Dyrdek will have the world's largest skateboard here in Tampa. Plus, what business on Tampa Street in their right minds would hide/store this gargantuan skateboard until we're ready to strike on June 21st? None. All businesses hate skateboarding - it's a known fact. And, there's aboslutely no way we're going to be able to roll it right down Tampa Street through downtown at noon. And, it's definitely impossible to get 300+ skateboarders to help pick it up and turn it left at Madison Street so we can roll it right past Officer Doofy headquarters. Yeah, right. That would be insane. To make things even more unbelievable, there's is no way in hell we will have an attorney on site ready to take your case when Officer Doofy gives you a ticket. Finally, I would be a complete idiot if I was out there giving money to anyone who gets a skateboard ticket so they can fight it in court and make the system and rules look silly rather than just lay down and pay it. Yep, there is no way in hell anyone would be able to pull off wacky plans like that, especially a bunch of dirtbag idiot skateboarders like us. So, see you at the plain old Skatepark of Tampa for just a plain old boring day of regular ass skateboard activity. Anything you hear on the streets about this plan is an intricate web of fabricated lies that we as SPoT are not responsible for. No reasonable person would think something like this could happen anyway. Or not, Doofy. See you on Tuesday, June 21.

What's Up Posts Tagged: Rants